A Father’s Love

This weekend I had the realization that this was my third fathers day without my padre. While some of you have missed your dads for many more fathers days than me, it stung a little as I realized how much has changed since I last saw my dad. The most obvious is that mom has an indoor dog… 😉  Just kidding, although that would probably cause dad’s mouth to drop, the biggest change is that Ashley and I are both married.

I often joke with Tyler that he’s a fool to have married me- A fool I tell you! I come with my own set of baggage, my own insecurities, my own failures, my own pride (which gets in the way all too often), and my own twisted sense of humor. Naturally, I blame my parents for all of my bad qualities -again jokes. This weekend really got me thinking about what kind of dad Tyler will be and how we’ll incorporate our parent’s parenting styles into our one-day children (which will not exist in the foreseeable future, just FYI).

If most people heard the way my dad and I talked and joked with each other they would assume I had no respect for him but I did. I argued, I bargained, I straddled the line and occasionally jumped over it just to see what happened but when it came down to it, I usually knew when it was enough. I respected my dad more than almost anyone else. He wasn’t perfect, but he didn’t try to be.  That was the thing about my dad. He was just as ornery as I was! One of our favorite games was to insult mom’s cooking until she was almost mad and then one of us would stop just in time to see the other get in trouble. Of course, we never actually meant the insults (if any of you have had my mom’s cooking, you know it’s amazing! Well, if you don’t count the one rubber cheese dip incidence) and mom was usually not actually mad at us. Dad had a twisted sense of humor just like I do. We tended to be the ones in the back at funerals laughing because we were uncomfortable. Even now when I’m scared or hurting, I tend to make jokes because that’s how I deal with things. So, we want to incorporate humor and laughter into our children. No matter what life throws with you, if they can try to find a reason to laugh or smile, they’ll be doing ok.

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This weekend we got to celebrate Father’s Day with Dr. Gary Bowman of THE Bowman family. 😉 It was so wonderful because although I missed my dad like crazy I realized how lucky I am to have such an amazing father-in-law. Not only is Mr. Bowman an amazing man of faith that is so caring and loving, he’s also a pretty good doctor (or so I hear). But I suppose I’m biased, so below is an article about him in a local newspaper. I respect Mr. Bowman so very much because he truly cares about the people around him. I have never met another family that has made me feel so welcomed and I think a big part of that is because of him. Bless his heart, he even puts up with me being a hug-a-holic! If we can incorporate the big hearts of the Bowman’s into our future family, the world better look out!


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Another aspect that we want to incorporate into our future children’s lives based on what our father’s instilled in us, is a living, breathing faith. Tyler and I have both been shown what it means to fully rely on God and to seek him. God is our heavenly father and he has blessed us so much by giving us our daddy’s that pointed the way to him. He gave us dads that weren’t perfect in many ways, but that continued to grow and adapt, becoming more Christ-like as they went. I am fully grateful for the 19 years I had with my dad and know that I will have eternity with him, but I’m also extremely thankful that I get the opportunity to know Tyler’s dad as my own and that one day, when we all get to Heaven, I will get to introduce my daddy to my daddy-in-law.

I know without a shadow of a doubt that when the time comes, Tyler will make an excellent dad. His dad has given him an amazing example to follow, and although they didn’t get to spend much time together, I like to think my dad had an impact on Tyler too- I just hope it was for good! hehe

Happy Father’s Day to our dad’s! Thank you for loving us, disciplining us, and being our biggest supporters. We love you more than words can say.

P.S. We love our mommas too 🙂 Lord knows someone had to keep our dads from getting too mad at us 😉

Sweet Friendships refresh the soul

Tonight I ran into some wonderful friends at a local coffeehouse. It was so great to fall back into conversation with them even though we hadn’t seen each other in about a month. We’ve gone through lots of life changes in the past few months, and life has just gotten hectic! With marriages, a baby (them, not me), new jobs, family, and just life getting in the way I’ve realized how hard it can be to keep up friendships. Thankfully none of my friends hold it against me! At least, they don’t let me know if they do! 😉

I’m so very thankful to have friends in many different stages of life. I have friends that are married, with and without children. I have friends that are single. I have friends that are engaged. I have friends that are “mature” and friends that still seem like little babes. I realized tonight that there is a purpose for each of these sweet friends in my life. I love that I can pour into my younger friends (or try to at least) just as other friends have poured into me. As selfish as it is, I love that several of my friends got married before me. It gives me such comfort to come to them with worries and fears, misconceptions, and questions and for them to be authentic with me. They don’t sugar coat things. Don’t get me wrong, marriage isn’t terrible, but it definitely isn’t rainbows and unicorns either.

The first night we got home from our honeymoon, I made the mistake of telling Tyler that I wouldn’t mind if he cuddled with me when he came to bed *hint hint*. Sadly, sleep Amanda and awake Amanda have different views on cuddling. The next morning as he was innocently rolling over to tell me good morning the first words our of my mouth were “Every time you move you push me off the bed. Get Out.”

It is so nice to be able to tell my sweet friends this and they don’t judge me. They don’t wonder what’s wrong with me because I was a grouch to my husband. They just laugh along with me because they’ve been there too! Being authentic and real I think is a big part of our witness and fellowship. All too often I find myself asking people “How are you?” expecting them to say fine, because if they’re anything other than fine, I don’t know how to handle it. I take the easiest route too and instead of saying how I’m really feeling, or what I’m really struggling with, I put on a stained-glass masquerade.  I pretend that everything is just fine in my world. I’m the best little wife, the best little daughter, the best little christian. When in reality, I’m not even close.

Godly friendships are an amazing gift because they force us to be authentic. They keep us accountable in our actions. They provide a safe haven to discuss our faults, failures, shortcomings, and fears. But the most important aspect of a Godly friendship, is that they continue to lift you up to God. They continue to point you to God. They continue to challenge you to be a man or woman of God that you’re called to be!

Whether they pour into me, or I attempt to pour into them. I am EXTREMELY thankful for each of my friends and realize that they have helped to shape who I am. I would not have the confidence I have in my faith without them. Honestly, I wouldn’t be the person I am without them.