This weekend I had the realization that this was my third fathers day without my padre. While some of you have missed your dads for many more fathers days than me, it stung a little as I realized how much has changed since I last saw my dad. The most obvious is that mom has an indoor dog… 😉 Just kidding, although that would probably cause dad’s mouth to drop, the biggest change is that Ashley and I are both married.
I often joke with Tyler that he’s a fool to have married me- A fool I tell you! I come with my own set of baggage, my own insecurities, my own failures, my own pride (which gets in the way all too often), and my own twisted sense of humor. Naturally, I blame my parents for all of my bad qualities -again jokes. This weekend really got me thinking about what kind of dad Tyler will be and how we’ll incorporate our parent’s parenting styles into our one-day children (which will not exist in the foreseeable future, just FYI).
If most people heard the way my dad and I talked and joked with each other they would assume I had no respect for him but I did. I argued, I bargained, I straddled the line and occasionally jumped over it just to see what happened but when it came down to it, I usually knew when it was enough. I respected my dad more than almost anyone else. He wasn’t perfect, but he didn’t try to be. That was the thing about my dad. He was just as ornery as I was! One of our favorite games was to insult mom’s cooking until she was almost mad and then one of us would stop just in time to see the other get in trouble. Of course, we never actually meant the insults (if any of you have had my mom’s cooking, you know it’s amazing! Well, if you don’t count the one rubber cheese dip incidence) and mom was usually not actually mad at us. Dad had a twisted sense of humor just like I do. We tended to be the ones in the back at funerals laughing because we were uncomfortable. Even now when I’m scared or hurting, I tend to make jokes because that’s how I deal with things. So, we want to incorporate humor and laughter into our children. No matter what life throws with you, if they can try to find a reason to laugh or smile, they’ll be doing ok.
This weekend we got to celebrate Father’s Day with Dr. Gary Bowman of THE Bowman family. 😉 It was so wonderful because although I missed my dad like crazy I realized how lucky I am to have such an amazing father-in-law. Not only is Mr. Bowman an amazing man of faith that is so caring and loving, he’s also a pretty good doctor (or so I hear). But I suppose I’m biased, so below is an article about him in a local newspaper. I respect Mr. Bowman so very much because he truly cares about the people around him. I have never met another family that has made me feel so welcomed and I think a big part of that is because of him. Bless his heart, he even puts up with me being a hug-a-holic! If we can incorporate the big hearts of the Bowman’s into our future family, the world better look out!
Another aspect that we want to incorporate into our future children’s lives based on what our father’s instilled in us, is a living, breathing faith. Tyler and I have both been shown what it means to fully rely on God and to seek him. God is our heavenly father and he has blessed us so much by giving us our daddy’s that pointed the way to him. He gave us dads that weren’t perfect in many ways, but that continued to grow and adapt, becoming more Christ-like as they went. I am fully grateful for the 19 years I had with my dad and know that I will have eternity with him, but I’m also extremely thankful that I get the opportunity to know Tyler’s dad as my own and that one day, when we all get to Heaven, I will get to introduce my daddy to my daddy-in-law.
I know without a shadow of a doubt that when the time comes, Tyler will make an excellent dad. His dad has given him an amazing example to follow, and although they didn’t get to spend much time together, I like to think my dad had an impact on Tyler too- I just hope it was for good! hehe
Happy Father’s Day to our dad’s! Thank you for loving us, disciplining us, and being our biggest supporters. We love you more than words can say.
P.S. We love our mommas too 🙂 Lord knows someone had to keep our dads from getting too mad at us 😉